Can I light Shabbos candles/how do I symbolize the loss? It feels wrong to ignore but I don’t want to draw too much attention

This is a very individual decision that will not only be different for each person but even with the same person, loss to loss. Because there is no generic answer, it’s important to reach out to your Mashpia or Rav to help guide you and your family in finding the most meaningful way to commemorate the loss.